By PAGE Editor

There are many times in your life where you may believe that you're down and out, with divorce being one that is usually at the very top of that list. Divorce is often a highly emotionally charged event with numerous variables and plenty of unknowns. Throw kids into the mix, and you've a recipe for a very long and drawn-out process that can severely drain your emotional stores.

However, regardless of how much joy the process can beat out of you, it's crucial to remain focused on the end goal and as level-headed as possible to avoid any adverse outcomes that could impact your life after the fact. In this post, we will discuss some of the primary implications that divorce can bring so that if you're currently thinking about it or already moving through the motions, you can be better prepared to deal with whatever comes your way. 

Custody Arrangements And Child Welfare

We will begin with what is arguably the most loaded part of divorce: child custody. While this might not be an issue if you never had children, for those who have, navigating the situation is akin to an emotional minefield for all involved. However, we should preface anything we're about to say with the fact that your child's welfare is what you should be focusing on, and any attempt to use your children as a bargaining tool will be heavily frowned upon if the case ends up in court. In fact, this divorce lawyer in Mesa, AZ, makes a specific note that when you focus on your child's welfare, you can also achieve better emotional outcomes for the adults involved.

Nonetheless, you will have to come to the realization that custody will need to be arranged, and depending on your circumstances in the relationship, you won't be seeing them as much as you did before. 

It is possible to come to an amicable arrangement with the help of a trained professional, but you also need to consider the kids in all this. For example, is it in their best interests to be moved about from house to house each week while they're also studying at school and have homework to do? Moreover, how will this kind of arrangement affect their mental health from being moved around all the time? In the end, you and your ex-partner will need to figure out what's best for them and leave your personal feelings out of the mix.

Understanding Emotional Stages Of Divorce

As you might imagine, divorce is an emotional rollercoaster, to use a common term and one that tends to take you through a multitude of emotions. These can include but are certainly not limited to:

• Denial: It's not uncommon to be in a state of disbelief about what's happening to your life. This will soon pass as your partner starts divorce proceedings without you, and as such, you will need to accept your fate pretty quickly.

• Anger: Anger is common, as most people feel like they're being led away from something against their will and have no control over their lives.

• Bargaining: Once you've gone through other stages, you will start to bargain. This can manifest as trying to keep the marriage together, attempting to preempt the official stage, and laying down the things you want to keep or are happy to give away.

• Depression: this stage can last as long or as short as you allow it to, but it will come bubbling up to the surface sooner or later. For some, it can appear once the dust has settled, and they find themselves alone for the first time in years.

• Fear and anxiety: There is a fear that the unknown brings, and divorce arguably brings the most number of unknowns you have ever experienced in your life.

• Acceptance: Sooner or later, you will need to accept what is going on if you ever want to move on with your life. This is obviously easier said than done but living in a state of denial is unhealthy and can lead to detrimental habits like substance abuse, which could also have knock-on effects for custody, etc. 

Assessing Financial Implications

Being married for any significant period of time usually means that you've established a large set of belongings together. This could include vehicles, houses, and a lifetime of stuff collected from shared experiences. Unless you or your partner signed a prenup, you will have to share these assets in a way that can be agreed upon by both parties. It's also worth noting that debt is something that can also be shared.

Importance Of Sound Financial Advice

Because you are about to engage in the breakup of your assets, it's prudent to speak with both a lawyer, as is expected, and a financial advisor. If you choose to hire an adviser to help you through the process, make sure to include your lawyer so that everyone is on the same page and there are no nasty surprises that could compromise your affairs. It's also worthwhile being as upfront as possible with your finances and endeavoring to be entirely fair. This act will go a long way if your case has to go to court, and the judge will look more favorably at your situation if you have gone through the motions correctly and attempted to be as fair as is reasonable.

The Role Of Mediation

Unless you happen to be divorcing for amicable reasons and have no course to batter each other into the ground, you will likely need an unbiased third party to mediate the process. A mediator will work closely with you and your lawyer to ensure a fair outcome for everyone involved based on the facts they have been presented. The idea is that by involving a mediator, you can avoid the need for costly litigation that will only further cause damage to your mental health, your bank balance, and the well-being of any children involved. 

Preparing For Life After Divorce

Even during negotiations, it's wise to prepare for your life after what has possibly been a long marriage. This can take time to adjust to, and it is often best to involve your friends and family, who can be on standby to help you with anything from moving houses to emotional support.

Divorce is rarely easy, and even with the best intentions, you are going to experience a myriad of emotions that can seem impossible to overcome. By using this post as a guide, you should be able to come out the other side less scathed and better positioned to start a new life.

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